But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Randomize
