this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
