Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Randomize