I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Randomize
