I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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