i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
