Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Randomize
