ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
