Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
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