I wish I could punch you in the face.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Randomize
