so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
