I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Can Purell be used as lube?
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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