He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Dicks are not precious.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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