Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
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