he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
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