Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
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