Yo dont text me then not text me
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Randomize
