the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
