Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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