I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
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