I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Randomize