I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize