forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
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