i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
