I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
