Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Randomize
