just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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