she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
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