Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize