I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
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