she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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