I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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