so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
