We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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