I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
Randomize