I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Randomize
