Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Randomize
