Yo dont text me then not text me
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
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