I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Randomize
