If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
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