i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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