Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
grandma shit on top of the toilet
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
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