Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
