Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize
