You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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