i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
