those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
Randomize
