3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
