Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
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