i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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