I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Only a mothe r could love this liver
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Randomize
