My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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