I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Randomize
