well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
