how hairy? two words: wookie tits
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
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