i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
