No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Randomize
