You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
