It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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