Have you finally orgasmed yet?
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Randomize
