My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
