I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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