I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
im holly from the hills drunk
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Randomize
