I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
Just took my morning after pill in the library
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
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