Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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